Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
