if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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