We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
