You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
