Sponge bath it is.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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