she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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