Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
