in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
