THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
