I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is wine microwaveable?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sobbing to NWA
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
