I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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