i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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