I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
