Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
