I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
