i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
