I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize