The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
