we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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