I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
