I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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