i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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