I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
