I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
