Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I think I sprained my soul last night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize