found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
