Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
