There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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