sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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