Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
