mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
