I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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