chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
