She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
