have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
