he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
