Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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