thus making me awesome and them whores
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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