No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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