i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
