She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You ate ashes out of my bong
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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