i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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