You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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