I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
