I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just forgot I was standing up.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
His nipple licking is glorious
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
