The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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