we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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