chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
