Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
