You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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