I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
