Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
what day is it and did you see me today?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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