i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize