They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
