that's an acceptable place to lick
i think i have herpe
just one?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
