It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize