READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
