Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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