hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize