i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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